Here's the thing about cats. Oh, okay - one of the things about cats.

The important thing about cats is that if they ever develop opposable thumbs, that's the end of everything. For us, I mean. They just won't need us any more.

But you can prepare, friends: you can kiss up to them. I'm not saying it'll help, of course: but it's worth trying.

People have known about the Opposable Thumb Problem since ancient times. That's why the Egyptians carved all those cat statues, and mummified cats just like they were Pharaohs. The Egyptians were just sucking up.

I'm not saying you should mummify a cat. But this, now: this complicated design of interlaced Celtic cats, arranged to face each other admiringly; this zoomorphic gripping beast of a declaration of cat worship; this monumental knotwork emblem of Feline Supplication - this, now, might just do the trick.

Wear this, my friends, and the King of the Cats himself might just give you a pass in that future world where the cats have finally come into their own. Where birds and mice cower hopelessly. Where the whole world has become one great Alley. Where those other luckless humans live on reservations, only preserved to get the occasional kitten down out of the trees.