Retropolis - the Art of the Future That Never Was

Tell it to my New, Improved GIANT ROBOT
Each day
we'd soar past
the Art Deco towers of Retropolis in our flying cars, skimming over the monorail tracks that led past the outskirts of the city.

We'd live a life of leisure because the streamlined marvels of technology had made our daily labors a thing of the past.

Plentiful, clean energy would drive the rockets and the pneumatic tubes that kept the City of Tomorrow running.

Greenbelt communities would bring the farmlands close to home, and home itself would be close to the theaters and libraries of civilization.

But we'd keep our ray guns handy - there'd be no way of telling just when those Atomic Spiders were going to show up again.

It'd be swell, wouldn't it? Yep. It really would.
Visit the Future That Never Was
rockets, robots, mad science, and death rays
available from Tor Books:
My illustrated novel, Slaves of the Switchboard of Doom - 21 Illustrated Chapters of Adventure!

“Remember when SF used to be upbeat and fun? Well, the fun is back and it's right here.”

- F. Paul Wilson
Slaves of the Switchboard of Doom is
now available from these merchants:

After a surprise efficiency review the switchboard operators of Retropolis find themselves replaced by a mysterious system they don't understand. So Nola Gardner pools their severance pay to hire Dash Kent, freelance adventurer and apartment manager, to find out what's happened to their jobs.

That ought to be easy for Dash, even if his practical experience is limited to heroic rescues (of what he calls entities) from the priests of the Spider God, in their temple at Marius Crater. But the replacement switchboard is only one element of a plan concocted by an insane civil engineer: a plan so vast that it reaches from Retropolis to the Moon. Dash and Nola race to find the hidden switchboard and solve the mystery, and they think they're on their own.

Of course they've got no idea how this plot has affected the Fraternal League of Robotic Persons, or the Ferriss Moto-Man Company, or even those infernal children from the third floor. And while everyone scrambles to save their jobs - or their freedom - the world's smallest giant robot is striding toward its destiny. An inch or two at a time.

Retropolis has found ways to contain its abundance of Mad Science. But in Slaves of the Switchboard of Doom we find that when engineers go mad. . . they know how to build madness on a scale that's never been seen before.

Coming later in 2017:
Patently Absurd, the complete Files of the Retropolis Registry of Patents

Cover for 'Patently Absurd'

In the collection Patently Absurd, we get to know the Retropolis Registry of Patents: a bureau of hard-working Officers and Investigators who file patent registrations for countless mad scientists - at no small risk to themselves - and who discreetly keep track of which deranged inventor is about to create an innovation so hazardous that it needs to be stopped.

Their work may be as insane as their clients are. But like any other person, whether human or mechanical, what's really important to them is office politics.

The first five of these stories - illustrated in glorious black and white! - ran as serials at Thrilling Tales of the Downright Unusual. The conclusion of the series will appear in Patently Absurd for the first time.

Retro Future Art


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