Retropolis: the Art of the Future That Never Was
Tell it to my New, Improved GIANT ROBOT

Each day we'd soar past the Art Deco towers of Retropolis in our flying cars, skimming over the monorail tracks that led past the outskirts of the city.

We'd live a life of leisure because the streamlined marvels of technology had made our daily labors a thing of the past.

Plentiful, clean energy would drive the rockets and the pneumatic tubes that kept the City of Tomorrow running.

Greenbelt communities would bring the farmlands close to home, and home itself would be close to the theaters and libraries of civilization.

But we'd keep our ray guns handy - there'd be no way of telling just when those Atomic Spiders were going to show up again.

It'd be swell, wouldn't it? Yep. It really would.

rockets, robots, mad science, and death rays


In the same way - and in the same spirit! - that we keep our streamlined monorails running swiftly and safely, we entrust your orders to well trained, electrically motivated henchmen and henchwomen.

Their sole aim in life is to produce these shirts for the Rocketeers, Robots, Demented Research Technicians, and others who order t-shirts and other merchandise from our web site.

When your order arrives at our retro modern facility our henchpersons burst into action: the presses fly, the hamster wheels spin, the Interociter... well, it interocirates, and a high quality t-shirt shoots out of the Shirt-O-Matic.

Each item we ship to you is made to your order.


So, you'd like to see Retropolis!

The Retropolis Travel Bureau would like for you to see it, too: and to see it safely, economically, and with the greatest of modern efficiency.

Like many visitors, you may want to time your trip to Retropolis so that it puts you in the city during one of our many annual events. If so - make your reservations early! The hotels and the ticketed events are full to overflowing at those times.

Don't hesitate to consult us at the many kiosks and information centers that you'll find throughout the city.

And while you browse through the pamphlets, announcements, and warning notices, take the opportunity to pick out a poster, card, or coffee mug to take home with you; keepsakes like these will remind you, through the years to come, of the wonderful times you had in Retropolis – and inspire you to return.

Also available: Illustrated Books
Patently Absurd: the Complete Files of the Retropolis Registry of Patents
Patently Absurd
The Files of the Retropolis Registry of Patents

Six stories; forty-four illustrations; 250 pages; one Patent Investigator; one slightly maladjusted robot secretary; and more Mad Science than you can shake a centrifuge at, all from the author/illustrator of Slaves of the Switchboard of Doom.

In the city of Retropolis - which is where the future went, when we got something else - all science is Mad. So scientific laboratories are confined to the city's Experimental Research District. It's laid out in the zoning laws, but what it really is, is self-defense.

There's always the danger that something really awful might happen in the District, though: something so awful that it will escape to the city outside. That's why the Retropolis Registry of Patents keeps an eye on what the inventors of the District are doing from day to day.

At the Registry you might meet Ben Bowman, a patent investigator who's smart in at least one or two of the ways that are important, and his friend Violet, the robot secretary. Violet is convinced that she ought to be an investigator herself.

Between you and me, she's not wrong. But she's had a terrible time convincing one Patent Registrar after another that they ought to promote her; and, strangely, the Registrars never seem to last very long once they disagree.


“...It's all lighthearted fun and wild invention, but Schenck takes a serious turn in the final story, which brings touching depth to his main characters. A great follow-up to Slaves of the Switchboard of Doom (2017).”

The art on these pages is copyrighted, at dates between 1997 and the present, by Bradley W. Schenck. This web site is entirely safe when used as directed. Please keep hands and feet inside of web site at all times.