These handsome 5 by 7" greeting cards come with matching envelopes, and they're discounted when you buy 10 or more.

But that's just where we get started: on each of their product pages is a link that says "Customize It!" and that's a simple way to add your own messages or even your own uploaded pictures to the right and left sides of the card's interior.

That means that these cards full of the retro robots and the soaring rockets of the retro future can be transmogrified into your own announcements, invitations, and greetings for your own - real or imagined - holidays.

I'm not saying, though, that the 'Toaster With TWO BRAINS!' card isn't a perfect Valentine card.

I'd never say that. But you can use your own imagination here, too.

This advanced Custom Greeting Card technology might have prevented the regrettable events of 2023, when emissaries from the Mostly Affable People of Neptune arrived, unannounced, on the anniversary of their Day Of Great Liberation.

The representatives of Earth hastily gave their visitors a Birthday card, without realizing that even mentioning the birthday of a Mostly Affable Person is a mortal insult. And we all know what happened then.